Final Fantasy HP: title sucks
by KwazyGirls
Summary: Rated PG13 because of some swearing. Is about Harry Potter people and Final Fantasy 8 story line. Really weird and crazy. Don't hate us because we're derranged phsyco people. review and tell us what you think. ^_^ Btw, we'll change the title eventually!


Final Fantasy HP

(How original is that? Don't worry, we'll change it later!) 

Authors: Person #1 & 2 

A/N: Hi people! We are doing a weird distorted story using Harry Potter and Final Fantasy 8! Please don't flame us because we are weird and crazy girls. The characters are just a little weird and it doesn't really make sense but we're stupid and... stupid. If you haven't completed the whole FFVIII game or read all the HP books (up to book 4) then you won't get this. By the way, Person #2 is obsessed with Draco Malfoy and Tom Felton. 

Person #2: Person #1 is sooooo dumb. 

Person #1: But not as dumb as Person #2. End of discussion! 

Disclaimer: We don't own anything, unfortunately. 

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CAST- 

Harry Potter - Squall Leonheart 

Draco Malfoy - Seifer Almasy 

Hermione Granger - Quistis Trepe 

Cho Chang - Rinoa Heartilly 

Ron Weasley - Zell Dincht 

Ginny Weasley - Selphie Tilmitt 

Seamus Finnigan - Irvine Kinneas 

Albus Dumbledore - Headmaster Cid 

Vincent Crabbe - Raijin and Gregory Goyle - Fujin (GOYLE IS A GIRL!... And a VERY UGLY ONE AT THAT!) 

Voldemort/Tom Marvolo Riddle - Greiver (GF) 

Lord Nagini - Ultimecia 

Lucius Malfoy - Adel 

Severus Snape - Edea/Matron 

Sirius Black - Laguna Loire 

Lilly Potter - Raine Loire 

Parvati Patil - Ellone Leonheart 

Remus Lupin - Kiros 

James Potter - Ward 

Barty Crouch - General Caraway 

Molly Weasley - Mrs. Dincht 

Now our story begins ... ! 

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There was a loud bang. 

'BANG!' 

Harry and Draco were in the Training Area fighting. It was a ferocious battle. Their wands clashed and bashed and sparks were flying everywhere. Draco then cast a fire spell, 'Licarnum Inflamarai!' Harry stumbled and tripped over a rock. OUCH! He fumbled to get up, but tripped again, and fell face first into the ground. 

This time he slowly got up, but as he did, Draco took a cheap shot at Harry. He swung his MIGHTY wand down upon Harry and blood flew everywhere! 'OW! That's pointy!' shrieked Harry. He got up and took a swing at Draco ... but, thankfully(?) he MISSED! Draco took the opportunity presented to attack poor, dumb Harry twice! It created a lightning scar on his ugly head. Almost like Zorro's symbol! 

Now Harry was pissed. He got up once more (yes, again) and quickly slashed Draco across the face! SLASH! (nooooo ... !!!) 'NOOOOO!!' Draco cried. 'MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!' 

'HA!' shouted Harry. But he was too weak and dumb to say anything else. He was so tired he collapsed right in front of Draco. Draco tried to hit Harry while he was down but failed! Because he was so drowsy and odd. 

- Next day or two - 

'Ow, my head,' Harry groaned. 

'Well you should be more careful you stupid child,' said some ugly 'dudette' nurse beside Harry's bed. 'Slashing poor Draco like that.' 

'But he started it!' whined Harry. 

'Oh shut up. Draco should have finished you off. Ugly rat.' 

'I've never seen you around here before? *GASP* You're not really a butt-ugly nurse, are you?!' 

'Very clever, Potter, but not clever enough!' The butt-ugly nurse then ripped off its head. IT'S A MASK! *GASP* Under the plastic head was an even uglier one! 

Harry gasped. *GASP* 'It's you! GOYLE! WHAT'RE YOU DOING HERE, YOU... YOU MISERABLE LITTLE TOE RAG!' Harry shouted, as he pulled the covers up over his very big head. He did this as an attempt to block the ugly sight from his little dweeby eyes. 

'A horrible sight isn't it Potter?!' cackled Goyle. Suddenly, behind Goyle appeared the real nurse, who was even scarier. 

She raised her huge freaky hands up to Goyle's little pathetic head and grabbed him by the ear and dragged him out. Harry heard some screaming and kicking but it stopped abruptly. 

'Um... is he going to be all right?' asked Harry when the freaky nurse came back in. 

'Oh, he'll be all right sonny,' said the freaky nurse, 'are you?' She loomed over him and Harry looked up with his little, ugly, bizarre eyes. 

'Um... yeah.' he said. The nurse didn't look happy. 'I'll be more careful next time.' 

The nurses eyes bulged. 'THERE WON'T BE A NEXT TIME!' she yelled as she pulled a chainsaw out from behind her. She waved it in front of him threateningly and cackled. 'AHAHAHAHAHAHA!' Then she raised it above her head and brought it down right between Harry's legs where his 'jewels' were. 

'AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!' screamed Harry as he quickly moved up. 

'Let that be a lesson you stupid prat!' said the nurse as she walked out. 'He's all yours Hermione. 

'Are you all right?' Hermione said. 

Harry was huddled in the corner of the room, his face was as white as the linen on his bed, as his bed had been butchered. 

'Uh ... yeah ...' he said covering his lower region with what was left of the blankets. 'Who was that freak?' 

'Oh, her,' Hermione said. She leaned in and whispered, 'She's a little mental... if you know what I mean. She just moved here and I don't think she's making too many friends. You're the first one she's actually really talked to.' Hermione shrugged nonchalantly, 'Come to think of it, I think she may like you,' Hermione said. 

'Gee, _you think!?!_ That's why she pulled out the chainsaw and nearly sliced off the one thing that defines me as a 'man!' He paused for a brief second, 'Wait, what about Draco?' 

Just then, they heard a painful scream coming from the other room. 

'OUCH! What are you trying to do to me... you - you serial killer wanna-be?!' 

'The nurse is busy with him. He has a VERY bad cut! Everyone keeps talking about how you slashed his face. To quote him: 'His beautiful face'. People even considered taking this matter to the Headmaster!' 

'I am sooooooooo cool!' 

'Don't think to much of yourself. He cut you 3 times. EVERYONE is talking about that.' 

'You just burst my bubble.' Harry replied gloomily. 

'Good to know!' Hermione quipped. 

- At class - 

'And that concludes the lesson for today. Oh, and by the way, HARRY, we don't injure other students during training!' said Hermione, also known as Prof. Granger. 

'But he attacked me first! I swear!' Harry protested, jumping to his feet. 

'First of all, Draco, Crabbe and Goyle all told me what happened. That's 3 against 1. Secondly, Draco NEVER, EVER lies!' 

(Draco is seen with a halo above his head) 

'And Finally, you don't have any friends to back you up! So HA! And don't cry either! 

Harry wiped away a tear, "I- I swear it wasn't me! I-I'm i-innocent! Really!' 

'THAT'S IT~! SEE ME AFTER CLASS, POOPHEAD!' Hermione shouted. 

'It's Potter.' 

'Are you arguing with me, pothead! I can call you whatever I want! Fruitcake! Toenails! Butt cheeks! Scar face! MORON! SHIT BRICK!' 

Everyone turned their heads to stare at Prof. Granger like she had one too many pills. 

'WELL?! GET TO WORK, FOOLS!' 

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Will Harry survive detention or whatever with Hermione? Will he ever be trusted again? Will Draco be exposed as being such a baaaaaad boy. 

Person #2: REVIEW PEOPLE! THIS IS KEWL! REVIEW OR YOU DIE!!! 

Person #1: Person #2! We're not supposed to threaten the readers! Sorry, my friend is very distorted. She even kissed her brother on the head! HER BROTHER!! EW. 

Person #2: Sorry, I'm having a VERY bad day! I just learned my other friend (not Person #1) skips around in her house like a girlie girl and it's VERY annoying and scary! 

Person #1: I just realized that too. End of discussion. 

Person #2: Don't you EVER shut up?! 

Person #1: No. End of discussion. 

Person #2: -_- 

Person #1: Hehe... he. 

Anyways, REVIEW! 


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